Reflections

HA! It's been 10 days since my last blog! No, that isn't the longest period between blogs but for those who consistently read it, I guess it's time for an update. I recently celebrated my sweet and simple little anniversary with an exchange of couple rings and thank you to all my friends out there who congratulated us and sent us your well wishes!

I am going to take a sharp turn from this blissful image you already have with my earlier sentence to say that while there may be many happy couples out there celebrating their anniversaries, their weddings, their love for each other, there are also those who are having affairs, having one-night stands and going through arduous separations and divorces. It can be one sided where the man or the woman 'suddenly' don't love either party any more which is wierd because there is love at first sight and then everything magical disappears and falls to pieces leaving disaster for those involved. I am always amazed at how strong I've become as a woman and as a person through the experiences I have been through thus far. I know that many obstacles I face should not stumble me but at that point in time when life seems so miserable and we start asking why, those will be the times when we feel that life is unfair and totally unnecessary. Then when that period of unhappiness passes, the sky seems clearer again and our vision less clouded and more willing to take in more light. We will mature along the way and when I tell myself it will soon pass and it is just a wave where there are highs and lows in life, I will be more positive and not dwell in my own misery because that is not considered loving yourself. Like how I feel that you got to trust yourself, you got to love yourself too in order to be able to love others whole heartedly without reservations. It is up to individuals because love is a very controversial issue.

I am being very emotion-less here and I really do not know if it's because of some of what I've gone through before and the different kinds of people I've met - their lives, listening to them, understanding their problems, but honestly, sometimes we should take a step back and reflect on ourselves. We can treat ourselves to a nice and quiet time at home, at the beach...just be with ourselves and enjoy! I realise that we can give all we want to the one we love, but slowly, giving becomes routine without us knowing it. And subconsciously, we expect to have something in return. Even if we don't, the routine of giving without getting anything in return will slowly turn to a repulsive, negative feeling. And then after some time, we will question if that is love? I could be wrong but we all feel differently anyways and I won't fault anyone who share different thoughts from me. I am open to your opinions should you have any.

Life is short. Really!!! We should make use of every moment and cherish the decisions we make. Of course, we look into our options and make decisions that don't destroy our lives like robbing a bank to prove we can do it, murdering someone to show we are cold-blooded, you know what I mean right? Again, different people different perceptions of enriching and meaningful lives. So for me, as long as I am happy, I know the decision I've made is right for me. Don't regret. Just learn from painful lessons should there be any and move along. East? Yeah...you got to dare to take the first step and try.

I am glad to have someone who can share every moment with me. We can be friends, lovers, buddies, enemies, strangers all at once. I will consider this special because it is not the norm and quite difficult to explain in words. I emphasize again that as long as I am happy, that is all that matters. Be true to myself and my heart. Think before I speak and don't take things for granted.

To continue from my 23 September 2008 blog, I did the run again with my colleague at 11.50am. We headed towards the same route (Marina Bay) except longer this time and he told me I ran 4km today. I am pretty amazed at the endurance level today because the heat is excruciating though not as bad as the first run where I was already not feeling well and extremely heaty yet after the run still went straight into air-con environment and caught a cold; a bad one I must say because I went down with a fever and not knowing that I did!!! I was that SMART!! hahahahahaha Ok..I know I am not supposed to but I am as stubborn as a mule lah.....and forgetting I was already not feeling well....and etc etc etc..so today, I cooled down after the 35 min run at the carpark and showered. The hot water doesn't come out right because the pressure seems wrongly adjusted or something...it was a scorching day!!! Water was a must..because I couldn't stop perspiring....so I knew that the body heat was not trapped within and that fever will not repeat itself..hahaha..It feels good after a run...it works for me all the time.

Dear told me to try different running styles so that different sets of muscles are worked. And yes, I admit that I wasn't as receptive as before to propositions but true enough...the exercise guru is right!! hee hee hee...gotta be careful too because of the ankle....and I will not go into that because if I do, the blog will never end lah...HAHAHA...I am proud of myself for finishing the 4km run without stopping and keeping a consistent pace with my colleague throughout. Whether or not it's for Sports day (up and coming company event), exercise is key to a healthy lifestyle other than a balanced diet!!