Monday, March 27, 2006

Separate Lives

You called me from the room in your hotel

All full of romance for someone that you met

And telling me how sorry your were, leaving so soon

And that you miss me sometimes when you're alone in your room

Do I feel lonely too?


You have no right to ask me how I feel

You have no right to ask how i feel

You have no right to speak to me so kind

We can't go on just holding on to time

Now that we're living separate lives


Well I held on to let you go

And if you lost your love for me, well you never let it show

There was no way to compromise

So now we're living

Separate Lives

Ooh, it's so typical, love leads to isolation

So you build that wall

Yes, you build that wall

And you make it stronger


Well you have no right to ask me how I feel

You have no right to speak to me so kind

Some day I might find myself looking in your eyes

But for now, we'll go on living separate lives

Yes for now, we'll go on living separate lives

Separate Lives

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

The Gift

Winter snow is falling down
Children laughing all around
Lights are turning on like a fairy tale come true
Sittin’ by the fire we made
You’re the answer when I prayed
I would find someone and baby I found you

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

Watching as you softly sleep
What I’d give if I could keep
Just this moment if only time stood still
But the colors fade away
And the years will make us gray
But baby in my eyes you’ll still be beautiful

And all I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
For the gift

All I want is to hold you forever
All I need is you more everyday
You saved my heart from being broken apart
You gave your love away
And I’m thankful everyday
Can’t find the words to say
Thank you for the gift

- May we always see the best in life, the goodness in everyone, the optimistic, the bright side of ups and downs.

-May we find the patience on the verge of ragging madness, peace through deadly massacres, determination when working all odds, sweetness in bitterness and above all, love thyself and all other beings when all else fails.

-The path to happiness when one only walks it.

Monday, March 20, 2006

Pondering Thoughts

Trust is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, it is the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspicion generates anger, anger causes enmit which may result in separation.

NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successful marriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-law answered in a smile,"Never criticize your wife for her shortcomings or when she does something wrong. Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, she could not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid of losing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around to find a scapegoat to point the finger at. The is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point one finger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves. If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too!

CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "I am looking for a spouse. Please help me find a suitable one." The SDU officer said, "Your requirements pls." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, and good in singing and dancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour, if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion for conversation and be silent when I want to rest." The offier listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need a television."

There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wife and a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults of the husband and the deaf husband cann hear the nagging of the wife. Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetual perfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, they wake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses. The nightmare begins.

NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demands too much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and their spouses will change their bad habits after marriage. Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying that carries the meaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person's character."

It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectations on changing the spouse's character will only cause disappointment and unpleasantness. Of course it is oh so simple saying all these. It is never easy implementing the actions and working on them. As difficult as it may seem, when there's a will there's always a way, as long as we don't give up.

It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations.

RIGHT SPEECH

"A speech will either prosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech. When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect and courtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the other party.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site. A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted,"Hi, Emily! Remember me? We used to date in secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husband teased her, "Luckily you married me, otherwise you will be the wife of a construction worker." She answered,"You should appreciate that you married me. Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship. It's like a broken egg - cannot be reversed.

PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perceptions. One man's meat could be another man's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boy commented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them rides on the donkey?" Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride the donkey. He walked besides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the head of the family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?" Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey. Further on the way home, they met an old lady. She commented,"How can the man ride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman." The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey. Then they met a young man. He commented,"Poor donkey, how can you hold up the weight of two persons. They are cruel to you." Hearing that, the husband and wife imediately climbed down and carried the donkey on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left. Later, on a narrow bridge. the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.

You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never in the past, not the present and never will be in the future. Do not be bothered by others' words if our conscience is clear..

Monday, March 13, 2006

Come Away with Me

We convince ourselves that life will be better once we're married, have a baby, then another. Then we get frustrated because our children are not old enough, and that all will be well when they are older. Then we are frustrated because they reach adolescence and we must deal with them. Surely we will be happier when they grow out of the teen years. We well ourselves that our life will be better when our spouse gets his/her act together, when we have a nicer car, when we take a vacation, when we finally retire. The truth is that there is no better time to be happy than right now. If not, then when? Your life will always be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and to decide to be happy in spite of it all.

For the longest time, it seemed that life was about to start. Real life. But there was always some obstacle along the way, an ordeal to get through, some work to be finished, some time to be given, a bill to be paid. Then life would start. I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life. That point of view helped me to see that there isn't any road to happiness. Happiness IS the road. So enjoy every moment. Stop waiting for school to end, for a return to school, to lose ten pounds, for work to begin, to get married, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for a new car for your mortgage to be paid off, for spring, for summer, for all, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn....before deciding to be happy.

Happiness is a voyage, not a destination

There is no better time than now....

Live and enjoy the moment!

Now, think and try to answer these questions:

1) Name the 5 richest people in the world.

2) Name the last 5 Miss Universe Winners.

3) Name the last 10 Nobel Prize winners.

4) Name the last 10 winners of the Best Actor Oscar.

Can't do it? Rather difficult, isn't it? Don't worry, nobody remembers that. Applause dies away. Trophies gather dust. Winners are soon forgotten. Now answer these questions:

1) Name 3 teachers who contributed to your education.

2) Name 3 friends who helped you in your hour of need.

3) Think of a few people who made you feel special.

4) Name 5 people that you like to spend time with.

More manageable? It's easier, isn't it? The people who mean something to your lfie are not rated "the best", don't have the most money, havent' won the greatest prizes...They're the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by. Think about it for a moment. Life is short. And you, in which list are you? Don't know? Perhaps this can help:

You are not among the most "famous", but among those to whom I remember to send this message... Some time ago, at the Seattle Olympics, 9 athelets, all mentally or physically challenged, were standing on the start line for the 100m race. The gun fired and the race began. Not everyone was running, but everyone wanted to participate and win. They ran in threes, a boy tripped and fell, did a few somersaults and started crying. The other eight heard him crying. They slowed down and looked behind them. They stopped and came back...All of them... A girl with Down's Syndrome sat down next to him, hugged him and asked, "Feeling better now?" Then, all 9 walked shoulder to shoulder to the finish line. The whole crowd stood up and applauded. And the applause lasted a very long time.

Perhaps you've heard this story or anything similar over and over again. Well..Deep down inside us, we all know that the most important thing in life is much more than winning for ourselves. The most important thing in this life is to help others to win. Even if that means slowing down and changing our own race. Passing on what we know, what we feel; perhaps we will succeed in changing our heart, perhaps someone else's heart, as well...

A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another one.