The Lessons

A boy, ten, most prized possession was his football - he ate with it, slept with it and polished it weekly..instead of his shoes. He knew all about football - but on some other things like, where babies came from, he was a little hazy. One afternoon, he was playing in the street and lost his precious ball. He looked everywhere and figured someone had stolen it. Eventually he spotted a womanwho seemed to be hiding it under her jacket. So he marched up and asked her:" What do you think you're doing with my football stuck up your shirt?" It turned out that she didn't have his football..but that afternoon, he learned where babies came from - and what a woman looks like when she is nine months pregnant. Later that day, he also found his ball. What fascinated him was why he had never noticed a pregnant woman before the age of ten...and why, from then onward, he seemed to be surrounded by them.

We reach points in our life when we are ready for new information. Until then, something can be staring at us in the face but we don't see it.

The only time most of us ever learn anything is when we get hit over the back of the head. Because it's easier not to change. So we keep doing what we're doing until we hit a brick wall. When do we change diets and start exercising? When our body is falling apart - when the doctor says:"If you don't change your lifestyle, you'll kill yourself!" Suddenly we're motivated! In relationships - when do we usually tell each other how much we care? When the marriage is falling apart, when the family is falling apart! In school - when do we finally knuckle down and study? When we're about to fail. In business - when do we try new ideas and make the tough decisions? When we can't pay our bills. When do we finally learn about customer service? After the customers have left! When do we usually pray? When our life is falling apart! " Dear lord, I know I haven't spoken to you since the last time the yogurt hit the fan..." We learn out biggest lessons when things get rough. When have you made the most important decisions in your life? When you were on your knees - after disasters, after knock-backs, when you've been kicked in the head. That's when we say to ourselves:" I'm sick of being broke, sick of being kicked around. I'm tired of being mediocre. I'm going to do something." Success we celebrate - but we don't learn too much. Failure hurts - and that's when we get educated. In restropect, we usually notice "disasters" were turning points. Effective people don't go looking for problems, but when they get smacked in the mouth, they ask themselves:" How do I need to change what I'm thinking and what I'm doing? How can I be better than I am now? " Losers ignore all the warning signs. When the roof falls in, they ask: " Why does everything happen to me? " We are creatures of habit. We keep doing what we're doing until we're forced to change. Mary gets dumped by boyfriend Al. Devastated. she locks herself in her bedroom for a week. Then gradually she starts calling old friends and meet new ones. She soon moves house and changes jobs. Within 6 months, she is happier and more confident than she has ever been in her life. She looks back on the "disaster" of losing Al as the best thing that ever happened to her. Is life a series of painful disasters? Not necessarily. The universe is always nudging us with gentle signals. When we ignore them, it nudges us with a sledgehammer. Growth is most painful when we resist it.

"It's only by going down into the abyss that we recover the treasures of life. Where you stumble there lies your treasure. The very cave you are afraid to enter turns out to be the source of what you were looking for."

- Joseph Campbell -

Training for Compassion

With the thought of attaining enlightenment, For the welfare of all beings, Who are more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel, I will constantly practise holding them dear.

Whenever I am with others, I will practise seeing myself as the lowest of all, And from the very depth of my heart, I will respectfully hold others as supreme.

In all actions I will examine my mind, And the moment a disturbing attitude arises, endangering myself and others, I will firmly confront and avert it.

Whenever I meet a person of bad nature, Who is overwhelmed by negative energy and intense suffering, I will hold such a rare one dear, As if I've found a precious treasure.

When others, out of jealousy, Mistreat me with abuse, slander and so on, I will practise accepting defeat, And offer the victory to them.

When someone I have benefited, And in whom I have placed great trust, Hurts me very badly, I will practise seeing that person as my supreme teacher.

In short, I will offer directly and indirectly, Every benefit and happiness to all beings, my mothers. I will practise in secret taking upon myself, All their harmful actions and sufferings.

Without these practises being defiled by the stains of the eight wordly concerns, By perceiving all phenomena as illusory, I will practise without grasping to release all beings, From the bondage of the disturbing unsubdued mind and karma.

This Too Will Pass

One of the most priceless teachings that helps with depression, is also one of the simplest. But teachings that seem simple are easy to misunderstand. Only when we are finally free from depression can we claim to have truly understood the following story.

The new prisoner was afraid and very depressed. The stone walls of his cell soaked up any warmth; the hard iron bard sneered at all compassion; the jarring collision of steel, as many gates closed, locked hope beyond reach. His heart sank as low as his sentence stretched long. On the wall, by the head of his cot, he saw scratched in the stone the following words: THIS TOO WILL PASS. These words pulled him through, as they must have supported the prisoner before him. NO matter how hard it got, he would look at the inscription and remember, " This too will pass." One the day he was released, he knew the truth of those words. His time completed; jail too had passed. As he regained his life, he often thought about that message, writing on bits of paper to leave by his bedside, in his car and at work. Even when times were bad, he never got depressed. He simply remembered, "This too will pass", and struggled on through. The bad times never seemed to last all that long. Then when good times came he enjoyed them but never too carelessly. Again he remembered, " This too will pass", and so carried on working at his life, taking nothing for granted. The good times always seemed to last uncommonly long. Even when he got cancer," This too will pass" gave him hope. Hope gave him strength and the positive attitude that beat the disease. One day the specialist confirmed that 'the cancer too has passed'. At the end of his days, on his death bed, he whispered to his loved ones, "This too will pass",and settled easily into death. His words were his last gift of love to his family and friends. They learned from him that 'grief too will pass'.

Depression is a prision that many of us pass through. "This too will pass" helps us pull through. It also avoids one of the great causes of depression, which is taking the happy times too much for granted.

It's Too Much to Hope For

It's too much to hope for a life without pain, It's wrong to expect a life wihout, For pain is our body's defence. No matter how much we dislike it, And nobody likes pain, Pain is important, And, For Pain we should be grateful. How else would we know, To move our hand from the fire? Our finger from the blade? Our foot from the thorn?

Yet, there's a type of pain that serves no purpose, That's chronic pain, It's that elite band of pain that's not for defence. It's an attacking force, An attacker from within, A destroyer of personal happiness, An aggressive assailant on personal ability, A ceaseless invader of personal peace, And, A continuous harrassment to Life!

Chronic pain is the hardest hurdle for the mind to jump. Sometimes it is almost impossible to jump, Yet we must keep on trying, And trying, And trying, Because if we don't, it will destroy. And, From this battle will come some good, The satisfaction of overcoming pain. The achievement of happiness and peace, of life in spite of it. This is quite an achievement, An achievement very special, very personal, A feeling of strength, Of inner strength, Which has to be experienced to be understood.

So, we all have to accept pain, Even sometimes destructive pain. For it is part of the scheme of things, And the mind can manage it, And the mind will become stronger for the practice.

~ Jonathan Wilson-Fuller~

Opening the door of your Heart

Several centuries ago, seven monks were in a cave in a jungle somwhere in Asia, meditating on unconditional love. There was the head monk, his brother and his best friend. The fourth was the head monk's enemy: they just cannot get along. The fifth monk in the group was a very old monk, so advanced in years that he was expected to die at anytime. The sixth monk was sick - so ill in fact that he too could die at any time. And the last monk, the seventh, was the useless monk. He always snored when he was supposed to be meditating; he couldn't remember his chanting, and if he did he would chant off-key. He couldn't even keep his robes on properly but the others tolerated him and thanked him for teaching them patience. One day a gang of bandits discovered the cave. It was so remote, so well hidden, that they wanted to take over as their own base, so they decided to kill all the monks. The head monk, fortunately, was a very persuasive speaker. He managed to persuade the gang of bandits to let all the monks go, except one, who would be killed as a warning to the other monks not to let anyone know the location of the cave. That was the best the head monk could do.The head monk was left alone for a few minutes to make the awful decision of who should be sacrificed so that the others could go free. Who did the head monk choose? The enemy? His brother? The useless monk? The answer: The head monk was unable to choose. His love for his brother was exactly the same, no more and no less, than his love for his best friend - which was exactly the same as his love for his enemy, for the old monk, the sick monk, and even for the dear old useless monk. He had perfected the meaning of these words: the door of my heart will always be open to you, whatever you do, whoever you are. The door of the head monk's heart was wide open to all, with unconditional, non-discriminating, free-flowing love. And mos poignanatly, his love for others was equal to his love for himself. The door of his heart was open to himself as well. That's why he couldn't choose between himself and others. 'Love thy neighbour as thy self'. Not more than yourself and not less than yourself, but equal to yourself. It means to regard others as one would regard oneself, and oneself as one regards others. Why is it that most people will think that the head monk would choose himself to die? Why is it, in our cultute, that we are always sacrificing ourselves for others and this is held to be good? Why is it that we are more demanding, critical and punishing of ourselves than of anyone else? It is for one and the same reason: we have not yet learned how to love ourselves. If you find it difficult to say to another ' the door of my heart is opened to you, whatever you do', then that difficulty is trifling compared with the difficulty you will face in saying to yourself: 'Me. The one I've veen so close to for as long as I can remember. Myself. The door of my heart is open to me as well. All of me no matter what I've done. Come in.' That is what is meant by loving ourselves: it's called forgiveness. It is stepping free from the prison of guilt, it is being at peace with yourself. And if you do find the courage to say those words to yourself, honestly, in the privacy of your inner world, then you will rise up, not down, to meet sublime love. One day, we all have to say to ourselves those words, or ones similar, with honesty, not playing games. When we do, it is as if a part of ourselves that had been rejected, living outside in the cold for so long, has now come home. We fell unified, whole, and free to be happy. Only when we love ourselves in sucha way can we know what it means to really love another, no more, no less. We do not have to be perfect without fault to give ourselves such love. If you wait for perfection, it never arrives. We must open the door of our heart to ourselves, whatever we have done. Once inside, we are perfect.