Tearing through my heart

I feel so sad I don't know why. I feel so lost I don't know why. Perhaps I can feel your confusion and your pain. Perhaps I am thinking what will become of us. I feel hot streams rolling uncontrollably down my cheeks. What am I going to do when you choice isn't what I expect? Is it your choice anyway? Could there be no other alternative? Now that I am also involved in that decision you soon will make, will it make it harder? Does it make you feel any better that I will support you in anyway? I know how hard it is with obligations. Yet you are not able to do anything about it because money is the issue? Without money, there can be no more studying; you might just need to resort to taking up the work or bum around at home. Perhaps you are now in the dark and cannot find a light to it. I don't know why you kept telling me to talk to you and that we can share about anything. Yet it doesn't seem that way for you. I just want to close all my doors again. I don't know what to do. Where is my support when I keep giving mine? WHERE? WHERE ARE YOU? Can't you see that while you are suffering inside, I am too? Could my parents be right? Relationship can wait. Why should I be serious with you now? Wouldn't it be affecting me? I feel that I am the one that make all your decisions so difficult because whenever you want to do something, I am there to stop you in your tracks and ask what if...
I feel so sad I don't know why.I feel so lost I don't know why..can you be there for me now? Please?