When you have alot on your mind...

....you can't sleep.

....you think even more.

....you get frustrated.

....you become upset.

....you sometimes don't think rationally.

....you wonder if life treats you fairly.

....you wish you had more family support.

....you feel that things could have been better if there had been more communication.

I stay up listening to the radio and cannot sleep because the body is tuned to working overnight shift for the past 6 days; 11pm to 7.30am. The graveyard shift it is with only 11 of us prowling the floor in the dead of the night. So the supposed off day, Sunday, 25 January 2010, was taken up sleeping and at 9.30pm, a call was received informing us night shift people that we are to report the next day, Monday, 26 January 2010 at 2.30pm. I wonder how my body is able to switch just like that? There is no REAL day off in between to allow my bio-rythm to adjust. Such treatment. Such welfare.

And then..there is the lack of family encouragement. Mockery rules. It hurts. How could they make such comparisons? Things are different now. People change. The person ain't the same. I am more matured. I grew older. I am going through so much more now, shouldering more responsibilities.

You say I should think about the future. Don't I always? It scares me. The financial aspects, starting a family, having kids and growing old. But what my parents have said brought back the fear...

While I blog, one of my favourite songs plays on Class 95:

Stand By Me

by Shayne Ward

Nothing's impossible

Nothing's unreachable

When I am weary

You make me stronger

This love is beautiful

So unforgetable

I feel no winter cold

When we're together

When we're together

[chorus]

Will you stand by me

Hold on and never let me go

Will you stand by me

With you I know I belong

When the story gets told
When day turns into night

I look into your eyes

I see my future now

All the world and its wonder
This love wont fade away

And through the hardest days

I'll never question us

You are the reason

My only reason

Will you stand by me

Hold on and never let me go

Will you stand by me

With you I know I belong

When the story gets told

I am blessed

To find what I need

In a world loosing hope

You're my only believe

You make things right

Everytime after time

Will you stand by me

Hold on and never let me go

Will you stand by me

Will I be part of your life

When the story gets told

[Repeat chorus]

Stand by me

Won't you stand....by me...

Stand by me...

No more darlin

I want you by my side

I want you here with me...